Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
