Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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