I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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