If that was your dad, he is hot
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
