marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
