do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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