If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
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my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
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'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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