So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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