I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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