Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
