I'm so fucking centered right now
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
