Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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