I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
