Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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