No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
