Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
