I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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