I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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