I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Randomize
