help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
