i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
