I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
