all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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