yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize