dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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