I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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