He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize