Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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