Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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