How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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