On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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