I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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