Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
