Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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