Will you blow on my dice?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
