Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
