They should really pass out barf bags in church
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Randomize
