wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
