this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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