Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
