so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
