I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
