just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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