just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
