Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
