Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I stole a fireplace last night.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
