Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
