I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
