Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
