ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
