Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
