if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
