Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
