babies were throwing up all over the place
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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