margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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