Can i not drive my cunt home
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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