Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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