I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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