piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize