4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
