i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
