no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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