I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i think my cat just said my name.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
PANTIES FOUND
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