I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
